Ever since I can remember I’ve been told to shut up.
“¡Pareces perico!” (You’re like a parrot!). And I never really understood why the adults around me were so insistent on the matter; I loved talking to others, sharing my experiences with others and using my ears to deep my toes on someone else’s world through their stories and a good conversation, and vice versa. For the longest time I was silenced, and I started to believe all these people were right, they didn’t understand me, nor had much to say, so this was the best way to deal with a word machine like me.
But the best things in my life, the most wonderful people I’ve met, and the best experiences I’ve ever had, I can confidently say have come into my life thanks to my never ending crave of connection and desire of learning from others that I’ve always had, and talk too much. I find delight in knowing what they have to say, hear their voice, find that topic that makes them excited and passionate, and just talk and talk about it. I have no fear of reaching out to others and starting a conversation, sharing my two cents in a meeting, and talking to strangers on public transportation, or sharing whatever thoughts have been running on my head.
Immigrating to this country has surely been a challenge, and I’ve lost myself and who I believed I was more times than I can count. We must assimilate the culture to survive successfully, passing as an American can come in handy if you get mild panic attacks every time you see the cops, messaging your parents only when you are home because you don’t feel comfortable using your mother tongue in public, meeting friends in Starbucks even when the coffee tastes like the Great Depression. The level of interaction between humans in this country is (un)surprisingly low, and after going through a massive mental slump, I was very much accustomed to it.
But, thanks to beautiful people and their magical support, you know, that kind of support you only find in the LGBTQAI2S+ community, I came back to myself and remembered who I was. I’m learning once again to be more empathetic towards myself. And just recently, I’ve heard many of the people I keep close to my heart tell me the same thing, and made me re-evaluate the way I interact with people: “you’re so chatty, I love talking to you, learning and getting new ideas!”
Then why have I been trying to limit myself?
Where I’m from, people believe that all you need to do to be part of society is to be another sheep that follows everyone else’s path, most people want to Americanize themselves (whatever that means…) once they come to America so they can fit better. But after living in NYC for some time, the one thing I adore about my friends is how different they are, how many different paths they have walked, and how their perspective enriches the way I see the world, and I hope that’s how my friends see me.
So I refuse to be less myself. I want to hold high the torch of all the wonderful things my culture has to offer and the experiences that create who I am, to be the one extroverted friend that talks to your crush at a party and asks for their number because you’re too shy, to dance bachata on the subway and be a happy fool as my way to keep warm because winter clothes are confusing and expensive, to keep my roots on my sleeve and never forget where I’m from, and share the warmth of my people with others, make them feel at home and close to other human beings without all the distancing norms Americans deem correct.
But don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to learn and absorb from this country, and I also do my best to keep my mouth shut every once in a while; talking is sharing, but listening is learning and connecting. My mom used to tell me ‘Tenemos más oreja que boca por una buena razón’ (we have more ears than mouth for a reason), and it’s a way to challenge myself, to make sure that I make my gifts stronger by balancing it with care for others, even when I’m not that good at it (I promise everyone I’m working on it!).
I often wish I can be helpful to the people, I dream to support my community, to be the one others reach for help when they need a shoulder to cry on, to add value, to be a symbol of relief. But that’s just me. Feel free to wear your flag the way that brings the most joy and pride to your soul, and hopefully we meet together in the way 🙂
In what ways do you wear your heritage/culture on your sleeve? How do you incorporate home in America? What are those things that you want to share with others about the culture that you identify with? LOVE to read it all in the comments!!
Jade Jones is an Afrolatina queer bean, language geek, and eternally curious soul. She loves to write, connect the world through words, talk, and eat chocolate.
